Wednesday, October 11, 2006

My wish

If I were a scientist - or a research doctor - my focus would be on earlier pregnancy detection.

Ok, so, I know people are saying - here, with so many fatal diseases in today's world, how could you be so self-centered as to have that be your only focus. Isnt that a little "small" in comparison. Well, yeah, sure - if you look at it THAT way. :)

When you've been trying for so long, there comes a point when you CAN start getting a little irrational about it though. I mean, for those of us with PCOS, or any kind of infertility, that just CAN NOT seem to get pregnant, that TWW (two week wait) is HELL - sheer and utter HELL. The longer it goes on - the more 'cautious hope' you have - even when you know that your temps are "only up because of the hormones," and you're body is only "feeling pregnant" because of the 10,000 IU of hCG they gave you - Umm... yeah, SO not a nice thing to do to a person btw! Now if we could know, for sure, within 2 or 3 days of ovulation - Yup, you made it! or Nope, still didnt get the job done - think of how much less anxiety and nail biting there would be! You wouldnt have to keep trying to out-psych yourself as you got your hopes up (even though you desperately tried not to). You wouldnt have to go insane thinking "is this a pregnancy sign" - when you know, for SURE, that your body is betraying you and giving you the signs and symptoms only as a side effect to the hormones.

Now, there's always the - Yes, but would you really WANT to know that early - because what if it didnt implant - or there was something wrong and there was a spontaneous m/c - then you'd have KNOWN you were pregnant and then werent. And, well, that's definitely a true and valid point. But I'd still want to know. I'd want to know so that if I WASNT I could just mentally and emotionally move on, not necessarily to know to get my hopes and emotions invested - though I'm sure I would do it just the same.

So for all of you out there who are in the TWW, I'm so sorry I'm not a scientist. If someday I DO happen to get there, rest assured it will be my first order of business. :)

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