At 30 years old (both of us), we've been TTC for the last 4 years. Short version: I stopped BCPs 4 years ago. After 2 years of TTC with no luck (and very few periods), I started to do research. What kept popping up? Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). I had all of the hallmark symptoms a girl can have without clinical exam. By year 3 I went to the OB/GYN and said, I think I have PCOS - sure enough after a detailed history, a few blood draws and an ultrasound - I was right. Lucky me. What was my 'prize' for being right? A D&C to evacuate my current (way too thick) lining and a protocol of Provera to bring on a bleed and get my progesterone up.
Now, when I bled for a week, I thought - ok. When I bled for TWO weeks, I said -hmmm.. When I was bleeding for the THIRD week (and the doctor wasnt really that concerned... I should've known that it was time to move on.) But her solution to this was either I could "wait it out" and see if it would stop on its own - OR - I could try a round of Clomid to stop the bleed and bring on an ovulation and we could 'try' that month (like, ok, we're not TRYING already?!) - whatever.
So I said, fine, lets try the Clomid. I ask about side effects, what do I need to know, what follow up is needed, etc. What do I get? Well, its a super-low does (50 mg once daily) - so we can just give it a shot, dont really need to do any tests or close follow... we'll just go with it and see if nature happens. (NOTE: This is, again, where I should've run - FAST). So we did that. No ovulation - did I have any follicles, who knows! We didnt do any scans.
So I quickly changed to a much more competent nurse midwife - same practice, but much MUCH better. She's fantastic. Asks me when I was given the Dx of PCOS - ummm... yeah, havent, but I DO know I have it. Oh boy was she surprised. Yes, of course, and here's the OFFICIAL Dx in writing - you have PCOS. Now, lets get you started on a dose of metformin, we can try another round of clomid if you like - this time we'll make sure we get the scans done so we're informed, etc etc. - We did a round of clomid 100 mg (no scans) - I by BBT charting I did ovulate and had a BEAUTIFUL triphasic chart - BFN.
After that I took several months off - First DH went out of the country for work. Then, frankly, I needed the time off, DH needed it, my life's craziness insisted on it. Nothing like life circumstances kicking your ass and saying - Umm, yeah, guess what - you need a BREAK!
So now, almost a year after the D&C and progesterone, etc - we're giving it one more shot before DH leaves again for another extended business trip out of the country. I'm currently taking 850 mg of metformin twice daily. Add to that clomid on cd5-9. Ironically, its THIS cycle that they said, hmmm... folicle scan - good idea. So we did one on Friday (10/06/06) - showed 2 "good sized" folicles (but they were right on top of each other so they were having a hard time getting a good measurement on them) - and then 2 more 'tiny' folicles which didnt provide a lot of hope. Of course the CNM is out and so the OB/GYN doc (yes, the one I had in the beginning of all this...) is the one to do the scan. She says - Ok, well your lining looks nice and you've got 2 good folicles. Lets give you an hCG shot - you should ovulate sometime tonight, tomorrow or Sun - and we'll see you back in here on Mon for another scan. Gee, great! Now, had I known THEN what I know now after coming home and researching it - I would've said, lets wait until Mon - so then we can be sure to watch it closer, etc. But, no, I'm shanghi'ed and just said... umm... ok.
Of course, we had sex Fri morning - though it was pretty fruitless (they were going to do a post-coital test but there was no fertile mucous so they couldnt really get anything...) - and then again Sat night at stupid-late (or, if you prefer stupid-early Sun morning). Since ovulation after an hCG shot can be anywhere from 12-36 hours later, assuming that I ovulated on (in the 24-36 hour range) Sat or Sun (and not late Fri night - in the 12-hour range) that would've been our 'conception sex.' (I even had a pillow under my hips and stayed like that for 30ish minutes afterwards... just covering all bases, you know. :) )
I went back today and the NP (nurse practioner) did my ultrasound. (Note, the OB/GYN M.D. did come in and briefly glance over the printed scan pictures the NP took - all in the name of 'consistancy' because, of course, SHE did the first scan so she'd know what she saw that time - at least in theory... *sigh*) - She says "Well, you've had a little thickening of your lining - that usually a sign of ovulation. And there's an irregularly-shaped folicle here... oh, I bet that's what ruptured to release the egg, ok, that makes sense... so that's a good sign too." - Now, at this point, I'm so frustrated and tired and just plain WORN OUT, that I dont think to ask - what is the lining measuring? what was the size of the folicle on the scan on fri when we did the hCG shot? are we seeing any striping in the endometrium? etc etc etc. - Note to self - ALWAYS ask questions. I know better than that! The M.D. comes back in and says - Hmm, ok - well the other 2 tiny folicles didnt develop and release like I had hoped they would (umm, yeah, you thought that two MINI folicles were going to magically develop and release because you gave me an hCG shot?? As far as I know that's SO ass backwards.) - but we'll have you back in 10 days to do a progesterone level and check for a corpus luteum; see ya then!
GOOD GRIEF.
So I specifically scheduled the 10-dpo visit with my CNM, I emailed her this evening and said, "yeah, I was pretty brain dead and I'd like to know x-y-and-z, and I'm really REALLY looking forward to seeing YOU again."
So, for now, I have resolved that I will have NO STRESS for the next 2 weeks (at least!) I have to have faith that I've successfully done everything and anything I could do this month to make this successful and leave it in G-d's hand and wait it out.
So, say an extra prayer - and have an extra drink for me. If I'm not pregnant this month, I'm going to need one.
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