Add insult to injury!

Yes, my friends, when it rains it pours.

I was fired Monday. Well, I guess, technically I was 'let go.' - More precisely, it was made clear that what I could give my office was not what the office needed and it was felt that I deserved and needed more as well. *rolls eyes* Leave it to HR to come up with a way to 'fire' someone without really FIRING them.

Ironically, just this morning I was thinking - well, you know, maybe I need to just bite the bullet and tell them I'm done. There are a lot of 'pluses' to that. - Guess G-d intervened and took the decision right out of my hand.

Now, dont get me wrong - on top of everything else from this weekend I'm really pissed, hurt, etc etc etc. I really didnt think I could make it through the day, pack up my desk, etc - but I did.

So, now I'm a work-at-home person again, in a house which will very soon be occupied only by me, 3 dogs and 2 cats. *sigh* Where are those freaking anti-depressant pills when I need them?!

Then, of course, I talk to my dr's office. They got my test results back. The "good" news (as the nurse put it) was that my hemoglobin A1c was 5.6 (normal range for their lab is 4.5-5.7) - (a Hg A1c is an average of your sugar level over the past 3 months). So I said - Oh, so I'm at the very edge of 'normal' fantastic. Of course then I asked her what the INSULIN level was - which digressed into a long argument between us about insulin level being unnecessary and how since i've never had an abnormal glucose test she wasnt even sure I *HAD* insulin resistance. (Oh, really? Come here let me smack you once for good measure - I dont think you'll REALLY have a black eye). I tried very calmly to explain to her that if I have insulin resistance my body will produce MORE insulin to keep my sugars in the normal range because the cells arent picking it up appropriately - HENCE, my *INSULIN* level should be HIGH - and if it ISNT (since I'm on the met right now twice a day) then we'll know that I'm therapeutic on the met. Oh no, I'm apparently wrong - very very wrong (as told by the nurse). After much back-and-forth with the nurse (poor woman couldnt get anything right!) she says "lets just schedule a follow-up appointment for you for Thurs." Gee, super! Oh, and if I had any research I wanted to bring in to share she was sure the dr would be interested. Oh, so what you're saying is I can spend the next 2 days researching my ass off and your office would be happy to take a look at it and shoot me down? Great, just what I wanted to hear.

So here I am 2 days later. I've made a list of questions/concerns/goals/research information and alternative therapies I'm interested in trying.

1. Weight loss - This is vital for proper IR/PCOS treatment. Nothing I'm doing seems to work and I'd really like their help in addressing this.

2. Metformin - I want to know what we're looking for to judge the efficacy of the metformin. How will we know that it is actually IMPACTING the IR component if we do not draw an insulin level? I'm also going to ask for the blood glucose monitor even though my A1c was 5.6 (range 4.5-5.7) - I want to add this to my charting to see what, if anything, we can glean from this. (and I LOATHE needles - so this is a big thing for me to be ASKING for it!)

3. Alternative therapies - I would like to start vitex, don quai, and/or soy protein (instead of clomid) and see if I can ovulate on my own without the clomid, etc.

4. Natural progesterone - I want to discuss the implications of the extrememly low progesterone level at the end of the cycle. Couple this with the fact that I've been having saliva ferning consistently throughout my WHOLE cycle as well as my tail-end bleeding and I think there's something to this. I also think that either I'm extremely low in progesterone and/or I have a component of estrogen dominance.

5. I want a full hormone panel drawn - E1, E2, E3, testosterone, progesterone, DHEA, DHT, cortisol, and melatonin.

I think that's about it. :) That's my list for tomorrow. I'm feeling like it leaves me looking like a hypochondriac - but really, at this point, I just want as MUCH information as I can get and I really REALLY want to be able to chart it all out for a few months and see what patterns I can to get any more information on this freaking condition that I can.

I'll update tomorrow to let you know what she ends up saying. Cross your fingers for me and say some prayers!

-----
For those who are keeping track:

I am currently: Cd04.